11 Reasons Why You Don’t Have Many Friends

Communication Relationships by Amy Morin

Finding and keeping friends in adulthood is different from the days when you played on the playground at recess. It takes work to maintain friendships over time. If you don’t have many friends, it’s important to consider the possible reasons why.

1. You Complain A Lot
if you’re constantly complaining about your job, lack of money, or unfair life, people won’t care to spend a lot of time with you. Complaining gets old fast. Try to develop a more positive attitude and look for more interesting topics to discuss rather than what’s going wrong in your life.

2. You Ditch Your Friends When You’re in a Relationship
If you’re guilty of ditching your friends every time you begin dating someone new, it’s likely your friends won’t sit around and wait to hear your breakup story. Instead, they’ll move on without you. It’s important to find a balance between spending time with your pals and your latest romantic interest.

3. You’re Selfish
Consider whether or not being selfish contributes to the fact that you don’t have friends. Friendship requires you to give sometimes, even when you don’t feel like it. If you’re only willing to do what you want, when you want it, it’s unlikely that your friends will tolerate it for very long.

4. You Don’t Care About Your Friends
If you don’t care what’s happening in your friends’ lives, your friends might not keep you around. It’s important to show interest in how your friends are doing. People will likely grow insulted if you don’t care to ask about them or you don’t care about their feelings.

5. You Stir Up Drama
If you’re guilty of stirring up trouble, it’s likely that people will try to avoid the drama. If you blame others, don’t keep secrets, or try to irritate people on purpose, you’ll likely have difficulty convincing people why they should stick around.

6. You Keep Score
Keeping score has no place in true friendship. If you try to keep score about whose turn it is to choose where you’re going to dinner or whose turn it is to call who, you will likely turn your friends away. Be willing to give to the relationship, rather than focus on trying to keep everything fair.

7. You Get Jealous
If you feel jealous when your friend buys a new car, gets a promotion at work, or enters into a new relationship, it’s likely going to lead to problems. It’s important to celebrate with your friends and feel happy for them when they succeed. If you’re always feeling jealous, you’re attitude will likely shine through, even if you try to hide it.

8. You Expect Too Much From Friends
If you expect your friends to always be available or always meet your needs, you’ll be disappointed. Your friends will hurt your feelings sometimes and will likely disappoint you from time to time. But that doesn’t meant they aren’t good people or that you shouldn’t remain friends with them. Practice forgiveness when your feelings get hurt.

9. You Gossip
If you gossip non-stop, people will recognize that you likely talk about them as well. Don’t talk negatively about other people or spread rumors. Instead, show that you can be trusted to respect people’s privacy.

10. You Bully Your Friends
Bullying doesn’t end in high school for many people. If you’re guilty of bossing your friends around or making demands, it’s likely that people won’t like you. It’s okay to be assertive with people, but make sure you don’t cross the line into behaving aggressively. Respect other people’s rights and work on developing healthy relationships.

11. You Don’t Get Out Enough
Of course, there is also a good chance that not having friends isn’t related to a specific character flaw. Instead, it might just be because you haven’t had the opportunity to meet people whose company you enjoy. If that’s the case, create opportunities to meet other people based on your interests and activities and be willing to take a chance on striking up a conversation with a stranger. It just might turn into a lifelong friendship.

Want to be a better friend? 10 Ways To Be A Better Friend

45 Lessons life taught Regina Brett, 90 years old

I thopught I would share this with our community.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled
over to 90 in August, so here goes:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. Love your parents because they will be gone before you know it.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry
13. Don’t compare your life to others’.. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Para celebrar que envejecía una vez escribí 45 lecciones que la vida me enseñó.
Es la columna más leída que he escrito.
En agosto cumplí 90 años, así que decidí publicar la columna una vez más:

1. La vida no es justa, pero aún así es buena.
2. Cuando tengas una duda, sólo toma el siguiente paso pequeño que venga.
3. La vida es muy corta como para gastar tiempo odiando a alguien.
4. Tu trabajo no se encargará de ti cuando te enfermes, tus amigos y padres lo harán. Mantente en contacto con ellos.
5. Paga tus tarjetas de crédito cada mes.
6. No tienes que ganar cada discusión. Acuerda en que desacuerdas.
7. Llora con alguien. Te sana más que llorar solo.
8. Está bien enojarse con Dios, ÉL lo puede soportar.
9. Ahorra para tu jubilación empezando desde el primer cheque, y si tienes dinero compártelo con tus amigos que mas estimas, los de la juventud.
10. Cuando se trata de chocolate, resistirse es inútil.
11. Haz paz con tu pasado, así no te malogrará tu presente.
12. Está bien dejar que tus hijos te vean llorar.
13. No te compares con otros. No tienes idea del viaje que ellos llevan.
14. Si una relación debe ser en secreto, entonces no deberías estar en ella.
15. Todo puede cambiar con un solo pestañear. Pero no te preocupes, Dios nunca pestañea.
16. Respira profundo. Relaja la mente.
17. Deshazte de todo lo que no sea útil, bonito o alegre.
18. Lo que no te mata, de verdad te hace más fuerte.
19. Nunca es tarde para tener una infancia feliz. Pero la segunda depende de ti y de nadie más.
20. Cuando se trata de ir tras lo que amas en la vida, no tomes un NO como respuesta.
21. Quema las velas, usa los manteles finos, ponte lencería fina. No los guardes para ocasiones especiales, hoy es especial.
22. Prepárate mucho, después anda con la corriente.
23. Se excéntrico ahora. No esperes a ser viejo para usar púrpura.
24. El órgano sexual más importante es el cerebro.
25. Nadie está a cargo de tu felicidad, excepto tú.
26. Etiqueta cada uno de esos llamados desastres con esta frase: “En 5 años, ¿esto importará?”
27. Siempre escoge la vida.
28. Perdona a todo y a todos.
29. Lo que otros piensan de ti no es tu problema.
30. El tiempo cura casi todo. Dale o date tiempo.
31. Por más buena o mala que una situación sea, va a cambiar.
32. No te tomes tan en serio. Nadie más lo hace.
33. Cree en los milagros.
34. Dios te ama por quien eres, no por nada que hayas hecho o dejado de hacer.
35. No audiciones para la vida. Preséntate y haz lo mejor de ella.
36. Envejecer es una mejor alternativa que morir joven.
37. Tus hijos solo tienen una infancia.
38. Todo lo que importa al final es que hayas amado.
39. Sal todos los días. Los milagros están esperando en todas partes.
40. Si todos tiráramos nuestros problemas en una fuente y viéramos los problemas del resto, agarraríamos nuestro saco de nuevo.
41. La envidia es una pérdida de tiempo. Ya tienes todo lo que necesitas.
42. Lo mejor está por venir.
43. No importa cómo te sientas, levántate, cámbiate y
44. Cede.
45. La vida no tiene un moño encima, pero aún así es un regalo.